This week marked the beginning of Phase 1 on my river land… Man, I’ve been anxious to get started! I attempted to be Father’s right hand assistant until we had our early beans in the ground and were FINALLY around to play in the dirt in beautiful Fort Defiance… (Actually- I attempt to fill that role- whether I’ve got an agenda or not.. 🙂 )
So we were planning how we were going to work around the impending rain showers and I said- “Well, I guess you probably won’t have that much for me to do- if you’re running the trackhoe…” Father’s eyes bulged and he said “Let me tell you something, there will be work for the aged and work for the young..” So Monday found me happily going behind the Farmer and his digging machine and picking up the debris left in his wake- fence posts, tree stumps, barbed wire…
I had never met the lady who lives in the original farmhouse that adjoins my property- I talked to her on the phone once because the presence of our machine was scaring her cat- but I was anxious to meet her. I saw her picking her way across the field to where we were and realized “today must be the day”… What a special lady… She brings compassion from me unlike anything I’ve ever felt. She is rather your stereo-type “cat lady”- who lives in her own world… Dear heart… She was on a mission- she’d left a black piece of plastic in the fence row last fall- something about scaring a cow away and she was coming to retrieve it… It was the “biggest piece of plastic I’ve ever seen… I don’t know how to tell you- it was that big… I could use it for a bench… I should’ve just left it as a bench…”
We walked over to the edge of the hole that the Trackhoe Operator had just dug, and deposited the entire fence row into, and there I could see it- down under an entire barbed-wire fence; torn and useless…I was afraid she was going to go after it- for a little, but I assured her that we’d attempt to replace it, and apologized profusely…
And that got me to thinking… As I unloaded the next load off the pickup- I had a conversation… (I do this a lot when I’m working alone- please bear with me…) I envisioned my pickup all laden down with a lot of things my memory pulls up from time to time… Regrets. Things I wish had never happened. Mistakes I’ve made. Painful things my experience has brought me… And I started unloading my pickup into this gigantic hole… Talking to my Heavenly Father… “Remember how bad of a situation that was?” “Throw it down, child- you don’t need it anymore..” “But that was terrible misunderstanding- I’m not sure I’ll ever get past it…” “So what does lugging it along with you prove? Into the pit, my dear…” “But God- I hurt! This isn’t fair! My confidence is shattered! I’m not sure I can deal with this! I’m not sure you understand…” “My dramatic daughter, look at what you’re holding…” I looked down,and in my hands, was a piece of a thorn tree- about 3 feet long, with huge menacing thorns jutting out…
What a terrible crown for a King… No matter what kind of pain, rejection, sorrow- I experience- It’s nothing compared to what Christ suffered for me… Because of love… Because of grace… Not because it was anything he deserved… The instigator of most of my problems starts with “K”.. 🙂 Christ was completely blameless and yet-went through a horrible death- and offered forgiveness and compassion to the very end. “What was that you were saying, Kendra?”
So I started throwing everything in. It felt good to stand there and just wing it in and hear it crash as it hit the ground… And then I stood on that empty pickup bed and enjoyed looking in at a job complete… Barbed wire; black plastic; old grudges-painful memories-and a lot of other ugly things that I should’ve dealt with long ago; all laying in a tangled heap in the bottom of the pit…
And I smiled thinking what an idiot I’d be to try to retrieve any of it- and drove off whistling -to order pizza for our crew…
How are you doing? Is your pickup empty? If you’ve got some junk to get rid of- I know the perfect place and the Most Patient Heavenly Father to oversee the operation…
“Come unto me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and by burden is light…” Matt 11:28-30
Blessings to you,
Kendra
Bonus pics:
It is the most incredible time of year! Nature is beautiful everywhere I look…
Finally got a chance to meet Kendra Grace- what a sweetheart! Congrats to the Herschbergers 🙂
P.S Do you suppose that Amish lady was photo-bombing the “Kendra Photography sessions” on purpose? 🙂
I love to word picture you painted for me—throwing the “junk” into the pit! What a wonderful Savior.
I loved this one! I know lots of times I’m in the bottom of the pit still messing with that torn piece of plastic. Thanks so much for writing this one. (Btw, this is my favorite blog!) Love you, Green