Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace, as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit
Today’s verse of the day was just the reminder I needed.
The truth is, I’ve been anticipating this week for a long time. I mean to be fair- I wasn’t sure that this week was going to be this week, but I’ve been preparing for it.
I cleared my schedule for the last part of August.
I tried to pump up the twins about it. “Isaiah, tell Ms Rachel what’s going to happen when Mama has her baby and you spend the night at Aunt Ken’s house, what are we going to eat for breakfast ?”
And Isaiah with huge blue eyes said “coooookies”
No buddy- PANCAKES!
Regardless- whenever- Aunt Ken was ready.
Monday morning found me at my mom’s happily canning some sort of delicious jalapeños goodness that a friend highly recommended. The air was filled with spice. Mother would sneeze whenever she walked past to answer another of my 100 questions, but it didn’t seem to phase me. I got done in decent time. After lunch and the kitchen was returned to it’s former splendor- I noticed that my left lung was painful. Oh well, maybe I’d slipped a rib or something.
I headed home to check in on the chickens and my breath was really short by the time I got to the house. Strange. I called my favorite chiropractor and set up an early morning alignment.
Somewhere along the line I chatted on the phone with Ben and then with my dad and apparently Father hit the panic button. Because suddenly my phone was ringing off the hook.
Ben: You can’t breathe- I think we need to get you checked out.
Another call waiting Em- What’s going on? I think you should go to town.
Another call waiting Father- KP! Are you ok? I’m terribly worried about you.
Anyhow long story short, Mother was summoned and she arrived on the scene the same time as Ben squealed home on two wheels from trucking. The vote was unanimous that I needed to head for town. Ben even created an instant poem in his hour of great concern “Without breath, you can’t have life; and without life- I don’t have a wife!!”
So I went, grudgingly because all that was going to happen was a bunch of expensive tests and then they would send me back home. (I know, priorities 🙄🤦🏻♀️)
To cut out a bunch of unnecessary details, the doctor at Med Express wasn’t comfortable with what he was seeing, so we went to the Emergency Room (whether we needed to or not, I thought) and before too long, I was admitted to the Hospital with a medium sized pulmonary embolism aka blood clot.
We were so relieved to have answers.
The next morning, I was feeling okish. The doctor talked of discharging me and I was ready to leave-I thought. They gave me a prescription for blood thinner and sent me on my way. But as I went to leave I got up and realized how horrid I actually felt. Mother bravely loaded me up and we sailed for her house.
And thus began the next 30 hours of intense pain.
I’ll spare all the details of Ben patiently carrying my pillow palace from recliner to recliner at our house trying to find SOMEWHERE that I was comfortable enough to doze off…
Or the fact that I took 8 showers while in my mom’s care on Wednesday trying to ease the intense lung pain.
Finally Wednesday evening, I couldn’t stand it anymore, and Em’s friends at the local rescue squad came and loaded my miserable self up and drug what was left of me back to the ER.
Thanks Em for snapping this moment of Ben living out his “in sickness and in health” promise.
And that’s where I’ve been since. They added pneumonia and sepsis to my list of diagnoses. And I’ve been appreciating every single drop of meds they’ve sent my way.
Trying to see how high they can get my incentive spirometer… I haven’t gotten it to 500 yet… Ben made it to 3500 😏
Today, I think I’ve turned the corner. Hallelujah. There’s been a lot of Hero’s in my story- Ben for patiently and willingly staying with me. Em for using her medical expertise/connections to get me where I needed to be at the right time. My mom for juggling babysitting the twins and caring for her sick daughter. The rest of our families who’ve carried us as best they could in various ways.
So many people have let us know how much they are praying. They’ve sent flowers and food, and stopped by to visit. They’ve walked our chickens, and cleaned the Airbnb and we feel so humbled and loved and supported. This has been a journey and one that I’m afraid won’t go away as quickly as it arrived.
But verses like the one at the top of the post give me courage. “Filled with joy and peace… overflowing with hope, by the power of the Holy Spirit” I want that to be my testimony.
And I left out one small detail. Wednesday night the hospital was filled and overflowing and I couldn’t get a room upstairs so they kept me in the ER. Considering the shape I was in, I wasn’t very good at jokes. But I asked if they could just move me up to my sisters room and give us a family discount. Yep that’s right- there’s a new little Showalter that I’ll introduce you to as soon as I meet the baby myself 😉 so anyhow I guess Isaiah was right after all- if he stays with Aunt Ken probably the only that she could feed him for breakfast right now is cookies- that some sweet friend blessed her with.
Thankful for the gift of life and for such a supportive community.