Inspired by all the adorable Resurrection Gardens that are popping up all over social media, I lumbered out into the woods behind our house.

I asked Ben where he suggested looking for moss, and he calmly stated “I hate to sound smart, but the north side of a tree” So armed with bucket and a small shovel (and a compass 🤪) I began the search.

The woods are just coming alive and there’s something invigorating about wandering through them. I wished I had my nephews with me, because the project was for them- but all the moss in their neck of the woods is charred at best. Oh well, satisfied with my finds; I loaded everything up and headed to Paradise Lane.

The twins just started Sunday School and they are very enthusiastic about their Bible knowledge, so we had a brief recap over the Resurrection story: how Jesus died on the cross and was put in a tomb but He didn’t stay there! He rose again and if we believe in Him, His death covers our sins and we can go to Heaven to be with Him.

(I’m not sure we totally understood the story- at one point one of the 4 year olds asked in a hush tone “Was Mama there?!” No bud-this happened a bit before Mama was born 🫣)

Then we got to work.

At first they just watched me laying out the tiny terracotta “tomb” and the stones and covering everything with moss. But they warmed up more and more and had opinions about the placement of the cross and different rocks. They rolled the stone back and forth across the empty grave and their excitement grew.

“AND we need a campfire!” This motion was proposed, seconded, and carried and the meeting adjourned before Aunt Ken knew what happened.

“Oh well, it’s their project, and I love the creativity” I thought so I carefully started laying out stones while my excited helpers rushed outside to find twigs for a campfire for the Resurrection scene. “Four year olds” I smiled to myself.

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It wasn’t until I got home that the significance of the campfire over Easter weekend hit me.

Remember how Peter promised that he would stand by Jesus no matter what? Even after Jesus warned him that he’d deny him 3 times, Peter was confident in his unwavering loyalty.

Mark 14 tells us that Peter was sitting with the guards “warming himself by the fire” while Jesus was on trial in front of the Sanhedrin. A servant girl stopped and said “aren’t you with the man on trial?” And Peter denied knowing Jesus.

He moved away from the fire, but stayed in the entry way and vehemently denied the next two accusations that he even knew Jesus.

And then Jesus turned and caught Peters eye and a rooster crowed and Peter left and cried brokenly.

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I’d never stopped to think about the campfire in the resurrection story and how personal it is to me.

But if I’m being honest- I’m spending way too much much time by that campfire. I’m just hanging around, watching, thinking about the uncertainty that’s ahead of me- I know Jesus is able. But what if the amount of blood thinner that I’m on creates a major problem during the birth of our child?

I’m hunkered over it, pondering the unstableness of the chicken world and wondering what’s ahead.

My eyes fill with smoky tears and I feel so sad and defeated. And yet there I stay: wrapped in my own thoughts, worrying and overthinking-keeping my pain for myself and denying giving it over to Jesus.

I could be kneeling at the cross and dropping these burdens and resting in the fact that Jesus knows the end from the beginning and nothing is too big for Him to handle.

Or I could be dancing with joy in front of the empty tomb- Praising God that He is victorious and faithful and will always make a way.

Jesus knew what He was saying when He referenced learning from little children. I’ve got a lot to ponder on.

I believe, help my unbelief!

Kendra