A week ago I blogged about vulnerability (here) and although I didn’t spell it out literally- the question burning in my heart was “How do we process pain? We all carry some. And how do we support someone who’s pain is community news?” I ended my post with “I have no answers only conviction.”

Today I have an answer.

It’s crazy how it all worked, but God answered that blog.

I’m on an email list for a Sunday School commentary from Wendell and Laura (bless y’all) and occasionally they will add in a bonus sermon.
Sometime recently they sent a copy of the sermon “Dealing with Emotional Pain” by Phil Beiler (I’d love to email it to you if you’re interested) and I read all 15 pages. Twice.

Basically here’s the summary:
John 9: Jesus heals the blind man by spitting on the ground and putting the dirt on his face and sending him to wash it off. There’s a lot that happens in the next verses-they discuss whether or not he was born blind because of sin (Jesus says “no, he’s been dealing with this all these years so that God’s power can be made manifest thru this experience ) The man receives sight and immediately is rejected-first by his neighbors (“This is just someone who looks like the blind man.”) Then by the church officials – they listen carefully to his account and then say “can’t be possible, let’s talk to his parents.” The parents-because they feared their standing in the church-say “He was blind, but now he’s not. He’s an adult-ask him what happened.” So they go back to the man and instead of rejoicing with him over his miracle-they kick him out of church. And that’s when Jesus shows up again. “Do you believe on the Son of God?” And he says “Who is He that I might believe?” Jesus says “You’re talking to Him.” The formerly blind man said “Lord I believe” and he worshipped Him.

So what we have here is a man who’s entire life was surrounded by the pain of loss. A quick time line would be: Born blind with all those complications. Huge miracle of gaining sight. Tremendous loss of being rejected by everyone-friends, church, and family. At that point, Jesus finds him alone. He believes and worships.

Mr Beiler made a point I thought worth repeating “So, we forgive. Yet there is something there that doesn’t quite go away. Do you know what I am talking about? There is a pain there. It is one thing to forgive. But it is another thing – what do you do with that pain?”

Emotional pain is not a result of unconfessed sin in someone’s life. Rather it’s the reality of what’s left after a traumatic experience.

We all bear scars. Some scars are deep- the pain of complete rejection from people who should’ve stood by you. Some scars aren’t from someone’s choice to wrong you- but merely circumstances-like repeated health issues, or the pain of losing someone close to you through death.

So what now? What do you do when life’s circumstances and the pain that it involves shrouds your life like a heavy coat?

The answer is found in John 9:38 “and he worshipped.” Deep worship.

“Don’t do reasoning. Go by faith. Trusting God in faith you will find answers. You will find healing in worship.” -Phil Beiler

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I heard the quote recently “God doesn’t waste pain-we can waste our pain, but God doesn’t.” I love that. We don’t often have a choice in emotional pain. But we can choose how to move forward. May it always send us running into the arms of Our Loving Heavenly Father with hearts ready to lay aside self, seeking to worship.

How Great is Our God that even in the most difficult moments of our lives, He’s able to take things intended for evil, and use them for good?

“Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside
Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me”

Let us worship.

Kendra

The story goes of a couple on a flight home that hit extreme turbulence. The plane tossed and pitched and dropped. Suddenly the young boy seated next to them turned and said “Can you help me? I’m sixteen and this is the first time I’ve flown alone and I’m really struggling with a panic attack right now.”
The Mrs without hesitation said “Hi I’m Mrs and this is Mr and for the next 50 minutes, we’re going to be your best friends. That was so brave of you to tell us what your dealing with! So tell us about your school…”
And so it went-they discovered a common interest in music and chatted the flight away. Because the young man was strong enough to admit weakness/ brave enough to be vulnerable

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I’ve been kicking that story around in my head all week. And then my sweet friend Jeanette posted a beautiful poem about rose pruning on her blog. As I read it I saw so much truth and saw so many times when I’ve failed to show Jesus to the vulnerable… (read the entire blog here) but here it is in part:

So it is in life, and sometimes we see
A life that looks bare and bleak
No blooms to charm, no fruit to admire
We deduct that they must be sick.

For surely the Master Gardener
In all of His wisdom grand
Would never have pruned the branches back
With such a heavy hand.

Unless there were some disease inside
That rendered it almost dead.
If it were a healthy bush, would not
He let it grow instead?

So we pass by on the other side
Lest we be infected too.
With the plague we are sure our brother has
When really we have no clue.

Perhaps the fruit in our brother’s life
Is prime for the Master’s use
So He wields the shears with a tender hand
So the fruit will grow more profuse.

But we walk by with our heads held high
Pointing fingers to find the blame
For the things gone wrong in our brother’s life
And murmuring “What a shame.”

Maybe instead, when our brother is down,
We could let him know we care.
Or take his hand and join with him
Intreating our God in prayer.

As we learn and grow together
In wisdom and in years
Let’s not draw back in horror
At the work of the Masters shears.

When all we can see are the thorny stalks
Let’s remember the lovely rose
It has to be pruned, to prepare for June
When that sweet, sweet fragrance flows.
-JMD 2021

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How often do we add pain to the already broken? Why is it that when someone shows up truly hurting that we feel like we have to fix and psychoanalyze what went wrong-when all we are called to do is to share Christ’s love, mercy, and grace.

On the other side of the coin-Where is the balance between being vulnerable and sharing too much info (oh dear, here comes that sad row again🥴)

Oh God forgive us-for throwing stones when the weight of sorrow and shame already feels too much to carry; for painting unrealistic pictures of perfect unapproachable lives when the reality is-there’s pain within us all; for completely missing chances to walk beside the hurting helping carry their load and show them Jesus.

I have no answers. Only conviction.

Ease someone’s pain today, show them you care.

Kendra

Bonus Pics:

My recent travels have contained a fair amount of variety 🙂 It feels good to be on the road again.

Mother Natures best April Fool’s Joke- snow squalls the entire day.

I’d hoped that the lack of crowds at the Cherry Blossoms would make parking easier on my way home from an early morning airport run… no such luck.

And finally… Easter morning Sunrise. Christ is RISEN! So thankful that no matter how heavy the pain is, or how bad we fail- His Mercies are new every morning. Great is His Faithfulness. ❤️